Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
