She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
