I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
