sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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