She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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