can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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