im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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