Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
