oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
