Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
