There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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