at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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