what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
