I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
