Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
