you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
