gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
