And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I want a musical about memes.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
