Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
