super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
