I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
