you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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