Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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