thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
