No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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