fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Alive.
So much puke
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
