I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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