Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
