we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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