We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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