Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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