My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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