Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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