Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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