i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
