the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
