they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
