so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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