He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
