Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
