I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
BRING THE BAGELS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
