no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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