clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
