she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
