That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
