you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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