i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
