she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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