if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
