Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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