I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What a dumb baby whore.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
